A Worth Reading

>ONE RED ROSE
>I Have Survived Essay Writing Contest!
>Third Place & Reader's Choice Winner
>Date Posted: 2/4/2005 8:00:55 PM
>Author: zirma guevarra

> "Hey Mommy, what are you staring at? Are you listening, Mom?"
>
> "I said, after watching Enteng Kabisote, let us pass by at Dad's
> favorite record store and buy him a new CD."
>
> "Shhhh... All right, Josh...," I whispered. "Mom heard you loud and
>clear,"
> I replied.
>
> Josh just turned 5 years old last December 25. Those five years of
> being a Mom to a very handsome, sweet and smart kid is probably the
> most exciting and fulfilling stage of my life.
>
> I'll be 28 years old this Feb. 14. At my age, I can recognize all the
> anime characters -- from Ghost Fighter to Ragnarok, to Lupin to Mask
> Ryder.
>
> Josh loves watching television and most of the time, I am his TV buddy.
>
> Whenever I would arrive home from work, he is always ready with his
> never-ending stories of what he did at school and what had happened to
> Mask Rider Ryuki.
>
> Some of my morning rituals, though repetitive, are never boring. I
> usually wake up at 5AM, take shower, prepare Josh's uniform, and make
> sure all his stuff are inside his bag including his baon.
>
> Then I would wake up his yaya and ask her to give Josh a bath, while I
> prepare myself for the office.
>
> In between putting on my blush-on and lipstick, I would always hear
> Josh giggling, yelling and making fun of his Yaya Ella.
>
> In most times, I would get jealous of Ella, they get along well.
>
> Josh is much like his dad, they are both makulit. At his young age,
> Josh loves listening to music and oftentimes mimics all rockers he
> sees on MTV.
>
> Before Josh disrupted my thoughts about the CD he wished to buy for
> his Dad, I was in a trance, pondering the first time I met Kelvin...
>
> It was Valentines Day of 1997 when I first laid eyes on him, it was
> also my 20th birthday then.
>
> I found myself sitting alone in one of the waiting sheds of the
> campus, when I noticed him walking directly to my direction.
>
> He was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt.
>
> Every stride he made toward my place made me nervous.
>
> His good looks and boyish features became too evident as he came closer.
>
> I was so conscious that I stood up and tried to walk away until he
> called out, "Mariz, wait!"
>
> I stood still, thinking, "how did this guy whom I never met before
> know my name?"
>
> As I turned my head and looked back, he smiled and uttered, "Happy
>Valentines".
>
> He then handed me a red rose.
>
> I smiled back, sat down and we talked.
>
> I learned that Kelvin was an admirer, who befriended one of my
> classmates to get to know me as well.
>
> He confessed that he, together with my classmates, really planned that
> particular day -- I found out it was the reason I sat alone, waiting
> without my usual tropa.
>
> We talked for almost an hour -- we were comfortable conversing. I
> learned that we were both on our junior year, he was taking up ECE
> while I, Business Ad. We both studied at PLM.
>
> Kelvin and I became very close -- he loved poetry and music; I liked
> cross stitching.
>
> He was always the first one to laugh whenever he delivered a joke. As
> for me, I often laughed at his jokes because he laughed like a
> gorilla.
>
> We became inseparable since the first time we met. Kelvin became the
> closest person to me aside from my family.
>
> On the eve of my graduation, after more than a year of friendship /
> courtship, he became my first boyfriend.
>
> In 1998, I graduated from college, and Kelvin was on his 5th year in ECE
>then.
>
> I remember during the graduation rites at PICC, Kelvin was hesitant to
> come and see me receive my diploma because that will also be the first
> time for him to meet my family. I forced him though. I introduced
> Kelvin to my family, oh, I could not forget that scenario. He was so
> nervous and pale.
>
> June of 1998, I was employed in one of the top corporations in
> Ortigas, while Kelvin was on his last year in Engineering.
>
> At that time, we saw to it that our relationship will not be tested by
> the temptations of the corporate world and tried our best to fight his
> insecurity of still "being a student".
>
> Every relationship, as they say, has its ups and downs. Kelvin started
> to show signs of jealousy and insecurity. We seldom went out on dates,
> he always had excuses.
>
> Behind all his aloofness, I knew then that he just did not want me to
> spend money on our dates.
>
> His pride was slowly tearing our relationship apart during those times.
> There were couple of nights I spent crying instead of resting. My
> co-workers were asking me to give up Kelvin, they insisted that life
> and love in college was different when starts working in the corporate
> world.
>
> October 26, 1998, Kelvin's birthday. I surprised him while he and his
> study group were busy finishing their case study on Microprocessor
> Clock Speed.
>
> I showed up wearing my old college uniform. He was shocked and he
> stared long at my old uniform, then he embraced me so hard that I
> raced for my breath.
>
> When he let go, I saw tears in his eyes. He kept repeating how much he
> loved me and that he was sorry for pushing me away.
>
> He confessed that, he was so jealous and insecure that he wanted me to
> find some other guy that could treat me out in any restaurant I
> wanted; buy me anything I pleased; or fetch me with nice cars; and
> shower me with gifts.
>
> Then I found myself crying for I never had known then how much I loved
> Kelvin, until I knew how sensitive he was.
>
> How he wished to give me the WORLD, when I only longed for a single red
>rose.
>
> February 14, 1999, on my 22nd birthday, he gave me one red rose; same
> as what he gave me when we first met two years before.
>
> And I swore then, that was the only thing I wished to receive.
>
> Thursday, April 1, 1999, Kelvin fetched me from work. He bragged all
> afternoon, he said he will graduate on the 30th, Friday.
>
> He kept on asking me to address him as Engineer Kelvin Regalado. I did.
>
> That night, we made love for the first time. It was passionate and
> unforgettable.
>
> April 18, 1999 , our 2nd anniversary, Kelvin composed this poem in front
>of me.
>
> Star shine's bright on a darkest night...
> being with you makes every thing right...
> here is my heart with love as pure as white...
> here are my arms that will hug with all my might...
> at the bottom of the lighthouse maybe the darkest,
> amidst fears and sorrows...
> I'll be abreast atop mountains and hills maybe the loneliest
> but if you find yourself there...
> close your eyes think of me... I'll be there, my dearest...
>
> Exactly a week before Kelvin's graduation, at around 5:30 in the
> afternoon, I received a message from my beeper, it was from his
> younger brother, Jethro.
>
> The message said, "Kuya is at PGH, emergency room".
>
> I hurriedly jumped into the first available taxi, I was literally
> crying a river.
>
> I was accustomed to be greeted with smiles by Kelvin's family, but
> that night was different. They were all crying, and I needed not any
> word from them to know what was happening.
>
> Jethro nonetheless, told me the whole story -- The police came to
> their house and brought them to the hospital because Kelvin was shot
> in a pawnshop hold-up incident and that his condition was critical.
>
> Jethro narrated that while Kelvin was pawning his necklace which he
> received from his aunt as an advanced graduation gift, two hold-uppers
> suddenly showed up and shot both guard and Kelvin.
>
> Jethro's last narration dropped like a bomb on my ears. Apparently,
> Kelvin told Jethro why he wanted to pawn the necklace.
>
> "Alam mo Jethro, ayos tong gift ni Tita, isasanla ko muna, para
> ipambili ko ng singsing, ako magreregalo kay Mariz sa graduation ko."
>
> April 24, 1999 , Kelvin died. Up to now I can't find the words to
> express how I felt then.
>
> April 30, 1999, all of us whom he'd touched, whom he'd shared jokes
> with; all those who had read his poems, who had heard his songs, were
> marching not toward PICC for his graduation, but to his funeral.
>
> It was the worst breakup.
>
> Two months after Kelvin died, I was diagnosed as pregnant. I cried and
> cried until tears rolled out empty.
>
> My family spoke no word, they pitied me. I thought they would kill me,
> be ashamed of me, but that did not happen.
>
> Both my family and Kelvin's supported me and showed how much they loved
>me.
>
> December 25, 1999 , instead of humming Christmas songs and crying over
> the thoughts of not celebrating it with Kelvin, I gave birth to a boy
> I named Josh.
>
> Since then, the happiness that Josh and I share is beyond what his dad
> would have planned for me.
>
> I am no longer particular with dates and time, I don't even wear a
> watch, and I just make each day with my kid a day to cherish.
>
> Each day at the office is an opportunity to give Josh a better life,
> education and future.
>
> It all started with one red rose.
>
> And until there is a rose, I will never be hopeless.
>
> "Hey mommy, are you crying?"
> "No son."
> "Magaling ba si Enteng?"
> "Di ka naman nanunuod, mommy eh."
> "Lika ka na, bili na tayo ng CD para ke Daddy."
> "Ayos, Mommy, tiyak mapapagalitan na naman si Daddy ni San Pedro dahil
> malakas na naman yun kung magpatugtog."
> "Di ba Mommy?"
> "Opo."